Lies!

5/14/2013

Think about a time when you knew someone was lying about something and decided to confront them about it. What did you say? How did you approach the situation? Have you ever a lie go "free"? What do you think compels a person to lie?

13 Comments

Nick Wolfert

5/14/2013 09:31:43 am

I used to be friends with a guy quite a few years older than me, and only till now have I realized he took advantage of my generosity a lot. I was about 5 when he was 11, but we had about he same maturity level. He would convince me to buy candy, then ask to share, or ask for money when he was just trying to buy cigarettes.

One time in middle school I finally got a clue when we were at youth group. Afterwards he told me he would catch up because he wanted to go back and talk to the youth pastor about his sermon. I was encouraged and let him go, but a few minutes later I figured that probably wasn't what he was doing. I walked back looking for him and didn't even check the church building. I took a right and went to the neighborhood market instead, and to no surprise he was there...in his stooped over position, painfully enjoying a cigarette. To say I was disappointing was an understatement, but at that point I didn't care.
"Don't tell...OK?"
I don't even think I responded. We were good friends up to that point, and I don't know why he felt it necessary to lie about it. Now I don't even bother checking up on him.

Tanabe

5/15/2013 08:11:41 am

Nick,
Betrayal is an awful thing. To discover something--like your best friend actually smokes cigarettes--by accident is one thing, but for him to lie about what he is doing, not to mention ask you for the money to feed his habit, is something entirely different. I would be curious to know if he felt any remorse.

Claire Zielinski link

5/15/2013 09:01:57 am

One day I was putting on makeup for a concert and I decided to use a set of different brushes than what I normally used ones, that I'd gotten from my mom. When I looked for it I found it wasn't there in fact I found that all of my brushes besides the few I used on a regular bases and some of my eye shadows weren't there. I looked to see if they were in my drawer but they weren't there. So I automatically knew who had taken them for this wasn't the first time. I called for my sister who is a makeup lover I asked her multiple times and she denied taking my brushes. My mother heard the conversation/argument and looked and found my brushes and eye shadows with her collection of brushes on her desk upstairs. That's when she admitted to taking them and then tried to compel me into giving them to her because I did not use them that often but she used them on a regular bases and that it wasn't fair that I got them if I did not use them. Then I threw right back at her that it was not fair for her to take them and for me not to have what was rightfully mine. I took them back and put them in a safe place in my drawer in the bathroom. I believe my sister lied about taking them because they are nice brushes and eye shadows and the temptation was to strong for her she used them on a regular bases though I don't see why she did it because shes got about 30 different ones it seems. The conversation has not come up again though I have not checked recently to see if there actually still in my drawer.....

David Henderson

5/16/2013 07:13:31 am

My family and I were eating dinner. It was a good dinner. Meatloaf was one of the best meals that my mother makes. Suddenly my father asked a question.

“Somebody’s been eating my cinnamon rolls.” We all looked around. There was no response.

He tried again. “I’m not upset, I would just like to know who’s been eating my cinnamon rolls.” Still no response.

Every month mom visits the store to buy food. Usually Winco Foods or Costco. While she’s there she usually buys a package of cinnamon rolls just for Dad. This is his reward for working hard at work, and no one else is allowed to eat them. Dad usually tries to get them to last the whole month. This becomes nearly impossible, however, when several of them disappear every day.

Dad began interviewing us one at a time in an attempt to look for guilt.

“Miriam, did you do it?” Nope.

“David?” Nope.

“Abbie?” Nope.

Somebody was lying, but whoever it was was doing a good job at it.

Every few weeks we would hear about it again. Again with the interviews. More questions... The location of the tasty snacks even changed, but still, they were disappearing. Currently, they are in the highest location in the house. I am the only one of the three siblings able to reach them without the assistance of a chair or by climbing onto the kitchen counter. I know for a fact it’s not me.

It’s been maybe a year since this scenario has started. Clearly someone is lying... The question is who.

I’ve recommended putting up temporary surveillance equipment, but that would be very hard to do especially since there aren’t any plugs near Dad’s treats, and batteries probably wouldn’t last long enough. As of today, May 16, 2013, the thief still hasn’t been caught.

David Henderson
Period 2
05/16/13

Kim B

5/16/2013 09:16:55 pm

I've never actually confronted someone over a lie. Unless I actually care, I won't say anything. And I don't care. I can sense when someone is lying because I do it all the time. No one has ever called me out, and if someone did I could just lie myself out of it! Ever heard the saying, "Truth is stranger than fiction"? I think that's one of the reasons that compels a person to lie. Lying hides what you don't want to be revealed. Lying makes the world go round (along with money and love). Think about it. How many times will you ask someone how they are? How many times have you heard, "Fine." "Tired." "Good. You?" -- Plenty, I'm assuming. Now what if that person decided to actually respond how they actually felt? "I'm not okay. I'm stressed, and I'm slowly going insane. I can't sleep, and I can't concentrate. Everything annoys me. People are loud. I'm always angry. I get an anxiety attack almost daily. So yeah, I guess I'm doing fine. And yourself?" Do you see the difference? Not only has that response created an awkward situation, but that person has now had a nervous breakdown. Lying keeps things running smooth. Lying keeps a person sane! I'm not saying that lying is the way to go, but what I am saying is that sometimes it's a necessity. If it's about me and I don't want to talk about it, I will lie. if someone is asking me for my opinion, I will speak only the truth.
As Dr. House would say.. "EVERYBODY LIES." But I think my all time favorite would have to be by Mark Twain.
"Everybody lies, every day; every hour; awake; asleep; in his dreams; in his joy; in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.”

Lauren Hudgins

5/20/2013 12:44:33 pm

I'm kind of an expert on liars. Not because I am one, but because people lie to me all the time. My favorite part about it is that I can always tell someone is lying (no I'm not claiming to be psychic, I just read body language well and put two and two together). Anyway, in my opinion, lying is one of the worst things you can do: it ends relationships, destroys trust between those who have been close for as long as they can remember, and causes insecurity in both the liar and the one being lied to (or is it liee? Haha, I don't know). Of course there's a lot more negative impact than that, but I've experienced all three things as a product of being lied to. I'm not saying I'm perfect and have never lied before, but I try not to because it's one of my pet peeves. In fact, recently two people who I thought were my best friends have been lying to me a considerable amount, and I've confronted one of them (which was inevitable in order to stand up for myself and sort of "clear my name" in a way). Not only did she lie to my face about really dangerous things, but she lied to other people about me; even the school became involved in that one. THAT hurt. The amount of betrayal I felt was immeasurable and I had to break that friendship off. The other friend doesn't think I know about her constant lying, but I'm sure one day everything I know will come out and there will be a sort of clash of the titans scenario. Until then, I choose to keep quiet and laugh to myself every time I hear a hole in her story. The problem is, she sort of lies about her whole life. I feel sorry for her because obviously something in her life isn't making her happy, so she tries to make a new reality for herself. I try to be sympathetic which is hard for me to do.
I'm sure the day I actually do confront her I will approach her sympathetically in order to let her open up and talk to me about it; I do care and still want to keep a friendship with her. I think I'll probably always forgive her. So I guess those are examples of both me confronting and letting a lie go free. I think the reason my two friends and a lot of people in general lie is to create an image of themselves that may not be perceived by others, otherwise. I mean, opinions seem to be so important to people now, and if one thing about someone's life isn't perfect they feel like they are being judged and so they lie to change it. I understand it in a way, but it still makes me sad that people are willing to jeopardize their most important relationships to be perceived a certain way, usually by those who don't even care about them. People need to get their priorities straight. I should stop now because I will literally ramble about this forever and a day.

Rachelle Austin

5/21/2013 10:54:30 am

Often people will lie about how they feel. I've seen friends and family of mine who are bothered or upset about something, but when asked if they are ok, they lie and say everything's fine. I usually feel like pressing them to tell me what's really going on, but I realize that I have done the same thing. When I don't want to talk about something, I feel really bothered by people urging me to talk about "what I feel." That's why I think that its alright to let certain lies go "free" and just let people be.

Cheyenne Shepherd

5/21/2013 12:19:19 pm

About two years ago I decided I wanted to move out of my mom’s house and live at my dad’s instead. My mom was furious upon hearing this and it composed her to say a bunch of lies. To be honest, I didn’t really say anything. I tend to approach most situations by looking in the other person’s shoes. I could see my mom was angry and emotional and I was sure deep down she never meant to say half of the stuff. So I guess I let lies go “free” depending on the situation. I think a person is compelled to lie based on their emotion and what they think is the best way to survive. In this case, my mom thought lying would be best to help her survive the situation out of anger, distress, and heartbroken. However, I think emotion can take the best out of people in almost any situation. Within the year of telling her I wanted to move out, she wanted to know why. So, I gave her my reasons and told her some lies she told me. I didn’t confront her about it though until I thought she could handle the truth.

Shelby Williamson

5/22/2013 01:26:58 am

I think most people do lie. In this generation nobody ever wants to be caught or proven wrong. I think that is what compelles them to lie. My little brother is seven and is at the stage where he lies about everything because he thinks it's funny. Especially about brushing his teeth. One day he said he had brushed them, but if course my sister and I didn't believe him. So we told him that Jesus knows when he is lying, and he will tell you the real truth everytime if you say that. Thus the solution to many of his lies.

Charlotte Brattain

5/22/2013 09:07:12 am

When I was 6 I went Christmas shopping with my mom to get my brothers a christmas present. After we had all the gifts picked out my mom had me wrap them then give them to her. Soon enough it was Christmas morning and we were opening presents. My brothers and I were ripping open every box in our sight but I abruptly stopped myself when I saw them opening the gifts I had picked out. I was astonished to see that the tag said " From Santa" because i knew for a fact that it was I who had gotten those gifts. So I then asked my mom if those were the gifts we had bought and she lied to me saying it wasn't and that Santa had gotten them, but i knew it was not Santa because the secret place where my mom keeps all of our presents did not contain the gifts we bought my brothers. After that incident my Christmases were never the same because i knew then that Santa Clause was just make believe. What compeled my mom to lie at that moment was to try and not ruin my childhood (which was an epic failure on her part).

Taylor McCoin

5/25/2013 05:56:50 am

I used confront people all the time when I knew they were lying. Not so much anymore, but in elementary school I didn't put up with a lot, and I made sure people knew it. I would just go up to them and say something like, "I know you're lying. I'm not sure why, but just know that I know the truth."
I really didn't have a problem with it back then. Now, I am more cautious when it comes to people's lies. Sometimes when somebody is lying it's to protect a family member or friend, and people could be seriously hurt if the truth got out. It's in those situations where I let them slide, or even play along.. unless of course they were being abused or something else terrible. There are many other situations that I'm not as forgiving.. such as people lying to make themselves look better, to make others jealous, to intentionally hurt another person, or to get themselves out out of trouble. Whether or not I confront them about it depends on how well I know them, if it would hurt another person, or if it was a serious crime that could not be kept a secret.

Ashli Penrose

5/29/2013 01:45:31 pm

I HATE SNAKES!!! I've always hated snakes. This lie happen when I was 6. I was finally tall enough to go on Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye at Disneyland. My Dad was REALLY excited because that ment he could go on it with someone since one of them always had to wait with us. This was about my 10th time or so to Disneyland and my Dad was tring to get me to go on this ride.
Backstory: six or so months earlier I decided I was scared of snakes after a chaperone told me it was the turtle room at the zoo on a field trip and a giant freaking COBRA jumped at me and hissed. This was a bad fear too, I could no longer watch the ending of Aladin, ok.
Anyway, I saw that snake statues were EVERYWHERE I looked and my Dad somehow convinced me that there was just one snake and that it was so small that I probably wouldn't even see it.(I must've been a total idiot back then because I'd seen every single Indiana Jones movie that was out there and I knew that Indy always ended up running into tons of them in every single one of them.) But, I went on it anyway becuse my Dad wanted me to(and he promised to taken me on Haunted Mansion four times that day and buy me a chocolate chip mint (aka Firehouse Dog) sundae from the Gibson Girl on Main Street, This so should've been the tip off that he was about to scar me for life). And we got on the ride pretty quick and what did the ride start out with??? SIX GIANT SNAKE STATUES OF COURSE!!!!!! Then a hallway, two rooms and a creeky bridge later the jeep entered a room where (if you only looked to the one side like I did the whole time) you could see this thick cone like thing. The ride forced me to see what was at the end of it and what was it??? nothing but a GIANT COBRA HEAD that was about three times taller then me. I screamed and punched my Dad over and over and he just hugged me and said that I could pick out every singe ride we went on for the rest of the day. (Remember, California Adventures didn't exist yet it was still a parking lot) So what'd I pick??? Ice cream followed by Tiki Room (which he hates) followed by My four times on Haunted Mansion in a row followed by The Mad Tea Party (which he gets sick if the just stands there and looks at us for a spilt second) It's a Small World (Because he hates that song) and Finally Rodger Rabbit's Cartoon Spin (again, he gets motion sick easy). So I got my Revenge:)

Tregg Peterson

6/12/2013 04:32:43 am

When I was younger, about 7 or 8, I found myself in the position of knowing one of my best friends stole a game from me and then when asked about it he said he didn't know what I was talking about. I knew he was lying first because I saw him take it, and second because he was acting different. I was wondering why he wouldn't just ask me to borrow it (Me and this person had known each other our whole lives). I wanted to say something but I figured he's my best friend and he will tell me soon. After about a week or so of not hearing anything about it, I confronted him. I asked him why he took my game instead of just asking to borrow it. He tried to play it off like he hadn't actually taken it, but when I told him I saw him take it, he fell apart. He started to cry and say sorry over and over again. I just let him and said "It's all right, I'm not mad I just want to know why you took it without asking." He answered, "I know how much you love this game so I thought I could just take it and act like you lost it, then return it later." I started to laugh because I didn't even like the game he took and was probably going to get rid of it soon anyway. We were from then on completely honest with each other until he moved away when he was 12.

Looking back on it now I realize some people lie out of fear. Fear of the consequences that they could have, and fear of being caught. There may be other reasons, but looking at all of the people that have ever lied to me, I realize that is the main reason why they've lied. It is strange to think about, but that is why I have lied also.

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